نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره۲

Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

 Some people contend that mixed ability classes are more beneficial for children’s development than streaming them on the basis of judgment about their academic abilities. However, from others perspective, such approach is discriminatory and should be avoided.

Admittedly, mixed ability classes provide a better environment for children’s all-round development. In such classes, children with different abilities study together and in turn they can learn from one another. From example, a student, who is good at academic study but weak in dancing or painting, can learn how to dance or paint form his peers. In this sense, mixed ability classes allow students to develop their abilities in different subjects instead of only academic abilities.

Despite the argument above, advocates of the proposed idea opine streaming students brings more benefits to teachers and students. As for teachers, separating children with better academic abilities from others facilitates effective teaching. This practice helps teachers to control their students more conveniently and easier. Compared with mixed ability classes in which teachers should consider students’ differences when they are using teaching methodologies, streaming makes this situation simpler. To be more specific, students are at the same level of academic ability in a class, and in turn teachers can apply the same methodologies for them all. In this way, the narrower the spread of ability in the class, the more convenient the teaching can be.

I myself maintain that streaming enables students to learn in an effective way. According to students’ different abilities, they are taught in ways that are more suitable for them. In the top streams, students use more difficult materials; therefore, they can learn more. In sharp contrast, teachers can explain the material more slowly to those in bottom streams. Under this circumstance, students with different academic abilities can study effectively and efficiently.

Having considered all the above-mentioned facts, this conclusion can be drawn that mixed ability classes are beneficial for students’ versatile development, but in my opinion, segregating students based on different academic ability is better for both teachers and students.

  Analysis

A. Task response:

1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.

2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic not only in a separate paragraph (the 3rd paragraph) but also in conclusion.

3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques, (the 1st one with example, the 2nd one with comparison).

4. Your essay is supposed to be minimum 250 and maximum 280 words professionally speaking. This candidate has applied 350 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard; consequently, it will be considered a weak point.

B. Coherence & cohesion:

1. This piece of writing is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive due to the fact that the candidate has applied cohesive devices such as in contrast, however as well as transitions including admittedly. Needless to say, well-supported paragraphs are bound to be cohesive.

C. Grammar:

1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including adjective clauses, compound/complex structures; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.

2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation which is a contributing factor in adding to your score.

D. Vocabulary:

1. This candidate has used appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance perspective, contend, segregate, discriminatory, …

۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

Examiner’s final comment:

Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 8 because of the above-mentioned points. 

نظر شما