Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is an obvious fact that financial aspects are a major part of daily life, as an adult and even as a young individual. Each and every one of us has to make financial decisions concerning recreation, health, education and more. The question is whether to start with financial education as part of school program or postpone it for a later stage in life.
On the one hand, being able to understand the value of money, the way the economic system works and interpret financial news and its implications are all virtues without which an individual, and even a young one, might suffer, to some extent. For example, a child who doesn’t understand the concept of money might find it more difficult to be able to choose an expensive gift out of a couple of good presents. In addition, many adults are lacking financial analysis capabilities. Quite often, the reason can be a shaky basis or insecurity when it comes to financial terms and concepts. Starting from an early age, building a strong background, can very likely prevent such a situation.
Nevertheless, financial education necessarily involves quantifying and setting prices and value for services and goods. It can be easily turn young people into cynical and materialistic human beings. Furthermore, a tendency to self-concentration and egoism might rise when one start measuring everything from a profit making perspective. Take my 17-year-old brother as an example whose attitude towards money varies that of mine, for he started to do business much earlier than me.
In conclusion, financial education has both pros and cons. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, making financial education an advisable component of school program. The disadvantages should be thought of as a certain price that young people have to pay due to the characteristics of the world that we live in.
Analysis
A. Task response:
1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.
2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.
3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like examples
4. This candidate has applied 320 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard
B. Coherence & cohesion:
1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate inkers such as on the other hand, however, for, nevertheless, furthermore,…
2. This piece of writing is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive.
C. Grammar:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including compound sentences, passive voice,…; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.
2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.
D. Vocabulary:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance implications, concept, insecurity, perspective, egoism, …
۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.
Examiner’s final comment:
Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7.5 because of the above-mentioned plus points.
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