Some people believe that pre-schools and kindergartens should start teaching children basic subjects such as math, writing even computers. Others think that these schools should mainly focus on activities such as games, painting, music, and play.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

 Nowadays, children formally start school around the age of six or seven, yet it is becoming more and more common for children younger than this to attend kindergarten or pre-school. Some parents hope that children in these schools will get a head start on important school subjects such as math and computers, still others simply want their children to have time to play with other pupils and do activities involving creative skills like painting and games.

 On the one hand, it is easy to see why parents might wish their children to start formal learning at an early age. Once children start at primary school, they will be required to start dealing with formal school subjects. If they have had exposure to these subjects while in pre-school, they will undoubtedly have an advantage over others who haven’t. Based on a survey done in the UK 43% of children with this advantage will achieve better grades and success, leading to higher achievement and confidence in their schoolwork.

 However, many parents also realize that children at a young age need time to play and explore their world. Activities involving art and music can develop children’s creativity and playtime can allow children to interact with other children and develop social skills. This is more than just having fun; by doing these activities, children are gaining valuable skills that will help them make friends, enjoy learning and solve problems later on in their school careers. Take my kid brother as an example who took up playing chess when he was 6 and not surprisingly he is a chess master now.

 To sum up, if I were supposed to choose a pre-school for my own child, I would look for a school whose curriculum includes mostly fun activities where children interact and enjoy themselves. This is not to say that formal subjects should not be approached, but they should not take up the majority of the school day and should be introduced in a fun and creative way.

When it comes to analyzing an essay, naturally we need to focus on the criteria based on which the IELTS examiners assess the piece of writing the most important of which are covering the topic thoroughly, conveying the message clearly, applying correct and varied structures in addition to using a broad range of  words.

 Analysis

A. Task response:

 ۱٫ This piece of writing has covered all parts of the given topic since the candidate has spent enough time on reading the topic before he/she started to write.

2. The candidate has stated their own opinion definitely regarding the topic not only in a separate paragraph (the 3^rd paragraph) but also in conclusion.

3. The central paragraphs of the essay are supported with a range of techniques, (the 1^st one with statistics, the 2^nd one with example).

Actually the candidate has applied this strategy:    Idea + a little explanation + support. These supports are essential since they contribute to transmitting the message to the reader more effectively & they help us to write unified paragraphs in order not to get off-topic.

  ۴٫ The essay is supposed to be minimum 250 and maximum 280 words professionally speaking. This candidate has applied 315 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard; consequently, it will be considered a weak point.

 B. Coherence & cohesion:

 ۱٫ The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly because of using the correct format (introduction, 3 central paragraphs, conclusion)as well as applying correct & appropriate structures besides topic-based vocabulary.

2. This essay is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive due to the fact that the candidate has applied cohesive devices such as still as well as transitions including however . Needless to say, well-supported paragraphs are bound to be cohesive. In other words, because candidate has supported his ideas in different paragraphs, all of them are arranged in a logical way.

  C. Grammar:

 ۱٫ This candidate has used a various structures including passive voice, conditional, complex sentences; more importantly, they are correct which means the candidate has shown an excellent command of written English by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.

2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation which is a contributing factor in adding to your score.

 D. Vocabulary:

 ۱٫ This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance exposure, curriculum, interact

2. There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

 Examiner’s final comment:

Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7+ because of the above-mentioned points.