• نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۱۵

    اردیبهشت ۱۱, ۱۳۹۴ نام: حمید ملازاده

    Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

     It is an obvious fact that financial aspects are a major part of daily life, as an adult and even as a young individual. Each and every one of us has to make financial decisions concerning recreation, health, education and more. The question is whether to start with financial education as part of school program or postpone it for a later stage in life.

     On the one hand, being able to understand the value of money, the way the economic system works and interpret financial news and its implications are all virtues without which an individual, and even a young one, might suffer, to some extent. For example, a child who doesn’t understand the concept of money might find it more difficult to be able to choose an expensive gift out of a couple of good presents. In addition, many adults are lacking financial analysis capabilities. Quite often, the reason can be a shaky basis or insecurity when it comes to financial terms and concepts. Starting from an early age, building a strong background, can very likely prevent such a situation.

      Nevertheless, financial education necessarily involves quantifying and setting prices and value for services and goods. It can be easily turn young people into cynical and materialistic human beings. Furthermore, a tendency to self-concentration and egoism might rise when one start measuring everything from a profit making perspective. Take my 17-year-old brother as an example whose attitude towards money varies that of mine, for he started to do business much earlier than me.

     In conclusion, financial education has both pros and cons. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, making financial education an advisable component of school program. The disadvantages should be thought of as a certain price that young people have to pay due to the characteristics of the world that we live in.

      Analysis

    A. Task response:

    1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.

    3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like examples

    4. This candidate has applied 320 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard

    B. Coherence & cohesion:

    1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate inkers such as on the other hand, however, for, nevertheless, furthermore,…

    2. This piece of writing is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive.

    C. Grammar:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including compound sentences, passive voice,…; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.

    D. Vocabulary:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance implications, concept, insecurity, perspective, egoism, …

    ۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

     Examiner’s final comment:

     Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7.5 because of the above-mentioned plus points.

  • نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۱۴

    فروردین ۲۹, ۱۳۹۴ نام: حمید ملازاده

    Some people believe that pre-schools and kindergartens should start teaching children basic subjects such as math, writing even computers. Others think that these schools should mainly focus on activities such as games, painting, music, and play.

    Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

     Nowadays, children formally start school around the age of six or seven, yet it is becoming more and more common for children younger than this to attend kindergarten or pre-school. Some parents hope that children in these schools will get a head start on important school subjects such as math and computers, still others simply want their children to have time to play with other pupils and do activities involving creative skills like painting and games.

     On the one hand, it is easy to see why parents might wish their children to start formal learning at an early age. Once children start at primary school, they will be required to start dealing with formal school subjects. If they have had exposure to these subjects while in pre-school, they will undoubtedly have an advantage over others who haven’t. Based on a survey done in the UK 43% of children with this advantage will achieve better grades and success, leading to higher achievement and confidence in their schoolwork.

     However, many parents also realize that children at a young age need time to play and explore their world. Activities involving art and music can develop children’s creativity and playtime can allow children to interact with other children and develop social skills. This is more than just having fun; by doing these activities, children are gaining valuable skills that will help them make friends, enjoy learning and solve problems later on in their school careers. Take my kid brother as an example who took up playing chess when he was 6 and not surprisingly he is a chess master now.

     To sum up, if I were supposed to choose a pre-school for my own child, I would look for a school whose curriculum includes mostly fun activities where children interact and enjoy themselves. This is not to say that formal subjects should not be approached, but they should not take up the majority of the school day and should be introduced in a fun and creative way.

    When it comes to analyzing an essay, naturally we need to focus on the criteria based on which the IELTS examiners assess the piece of writing the most important of which are covering the topic thoroughly, conveying the message clearly, applying correct and varied structures in addition to using a broad range of  words.

     Analysis

    A. Task response:

     ۱٫ This piece of writing has covered all parts of the given topic since the candidate has spent enough time on reading the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated their own opinion definitely regarding the topic not only in a separate paragraph (the 3rd paragraph) but also in conclusion.

    3. The central paragraphs of the essay are supported with a range of techniques, (the 1st one with statistics, the 2nd one with example).

    Actually the candidate has applied this strategy:    Idea + a little explanation + support. These supports are essential since they contribute to transmitting the message to the reader more effectively & they help us to write unified paragraphs in order not to get off-topic.

      ۴٫ The essay is supposed to be minimum 250 and maximum 280 words professionally speaking. This candidate has applied 315 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard; consequently, it will be considered a weak point.

     B. Coherence & cohesion:

     ۱٫ The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly because of using the correct format (introduction, 3 central paragraphs, conclusion)as well as applying correct & appropriate structures besides topic-based vocabulary.

    2. This essay is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive due to the fact that the candidate has applied cohesive devices such as still as well as transitions including however . Needless to say, well-supported paragraphs are bound to be cohesive. In other words, because candidate has supported his ideas in different paragraphs, all of them are arranged in a logical way.

      C. Grammar:

     ۱٫ This candidate has used a various structures including passive voice, conditional, complex sentences; more importantly, they are correct which means the candidate has shown an excellent command of written English by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation which is a contributing factor in adding to your score.

     D. Vocabulary:

     ۱٫ This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance exposure, curriculum, interact

    2. There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

     Examiner’s final comment:

    Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7+ because of the above-mentioned points.

     

  • نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۱۳

    فروردین ۲۸, ۱۳۹۴ نام: حمید ملازاده

     Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

     There is no cast of shadow that an essential problem of the 21st century is world pollution. Currently the environment is so contaminated that urgent measures should be taken to tackle the problem. A single individual cannot be blamed for the world pollution, which means it is vital that environmental issues are dealt with internationally. However, every person should take care of his or her habitat.

    Lately, many presentations, conferences and international summits are held to deal with waste treatment, recycling, and soil and water contamination. For sure joint efforts and consolidation can only help in the mutual war towards the ongoing environmental disaster. For instance, governments should offer support to companies and organizations, involved in manufacturing, industry or agriculture in order to find environmentally-friendly approaches to get rid of their waste. These could be special law regulations, recycling programs, helping courses in order to implement ISO certificates and many more.

    However, the influence of individuals over environment should not be ignored. If we do not confess that our planet is our home, we will never be able to take adequate care of it. We have to contribute every day to the preservation of nature and environment. For example, always remember to save energy by switching off lamps, computers and everything that we do not use. Our next obligation is to separate waste and throw bulk only in the designated areas. Driving vehicles can also be environmentally- friendly. For example, we have to avoid accelerating the engines too rapidly or using the air conditioning in the country, where it would be better to save energy and simply open the windows.

    To sum up, environmental challenges should be met by local and international authorities as well as individuals. Every single person should take care of their environment; moreover, we have to bring up our children to be conscious citizens of a clean and preserved planet.

     Analysis

    A. Task response:

    1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.

    3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like examples

    4. This candidate has applied 350 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard

    B. Coherence & cohesion:

    1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate cohesive devices such as however, to sum up, …

    ۲٫ This piece of writing is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive.

    C. Grammar:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including adjective clauses, compound/complex sentences; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.

    D. Vocabulary:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance summit, contaminating, consolidation, environmentally-friendly, contribute, …

    ۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

     Examiner’s final comment:

    Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7+ because of the above-mentioned plus points.

  • نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۱۲

    فروردین ۲۷, ۱۳۹۴ نام: حمید ملازاده

    Some say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do to you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

     There is no cast of shadow that with the help of the World Wide Web we can do things that some years ago we could just see them in fiction movies. Although some people support the idea that the Internet has facilitated our communication, others argue its demerits should not be forgotten.

    Not surprisingly electronic mail, instant messages, gadgets such as web cameras and microphones as well as cutting-edge technologies including video conferencing have made the presence of the other person more real. Who knows; with the help of visual reality you might even get a 3-D image of the speaker! I believe that the Internet is one the best inventions of the last century, you can hardly get to miss anyone and nobody is really out of reach. For instance, you could not keep in touch with your friends and would not be able to do your work from your bedroom in your pajamas if it weren’t because of the internet.

    However, the internet can also be a major source of harassment. Spammers and hackers can invade your privacy and get personal/confidential information, which otherwise they will never get access to. You are never out of anybody’s reach, unless you make a conscious decision of not checking your email, there can be always more work waiting for you in your inbox and you might never have a moment to yourself. Worse yet, if you were a workaholic, you might never experience that stress-free vacation ever again in your life – take my older brother as an example who has his mobile workplace with him at all times.

    In conclusion, I myself occasionally look forward to getting a letter in the snail mail, for the Internet gives me all what I dream of in terms of communication – the speed, reliability, and convenience of time and place. I can certainly tolerate its shortcomings any day, as long as it keeps me close to my loved ones.

     Analysis

    A. Task response:

    1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.

    3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like examples

    4. This candidate has applied 340 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard

    B. Coherence & cohesion:

    1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate linkers like although, not surprisingly, however, unless, ….

    ۲٫ This piece of writing is both coherent & cohesive.

    C. Grammar:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including conditionals, noun clauses, adjective clause,…; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones .

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.

    D. Vocabulary:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance demerit, gadget, cutting-edge,…

    ۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

     Examiner’s final comment:

     Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7.5 because of the above-mentioned plus points.

  • نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۱۱

    فروردین ۲۲, ۱۳۹۴ نام: حمید ملازاده

    More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people rich countries are stealing form poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workforce around the world. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion.

     These days, the so-called ‘brain drain’ from poor to rich countries has sparked much debate. Some people argue urging experts to go from underprivileged areas to developed ones is not fair, while many others consider this phenomenon totally common.

    Defenders of this movement around the world claim it is not a new phenomenon. Migrant workers have always been attracted by the wider choice of employment and greater opportunity in mega cities both in their own countries and abroad. Recently, as the technological age has advanced and as richer countries find themselves with not enough workers to feed their development, they have had to turn to other parts of the world to find the necessary manpower. Many richer European countries, for instance are now trying to attract skilled IT specialists from my home country Iran by offering much higher salaries than they could imagine earning at home. An illustration of this is my brother whose dreams may not have come true had it not been for his having been employed in MIT Research Center. With the globalization of the world economy, many people feel that the process cannot be stopped.

    Critics, I myself included, are of the opinion that measures should be taken to address the problem, by compensating poor countries financially for the loss of investment in the people they have trained, like doctors and nurses. Admittedly, this may be cumbersome to administer, but an attempt could be made to get it off the ground. Another step, which in part has already begun to happen, is to use the forces of globalization itself. Western countries could encourage people to stay in their own countries by direct investment in projects like computer factories or by sending patients abroad for treatment, as is already happening.

    Overall, I am convinced it is obviously difficult to restrict the movement of people around the world and there is little likelihood to be able to stop it; thus, attempts should be made to redress the imbalance.

     

    Analysis

    A. Task response:

    1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.

    3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like examples

    4. This candidate has applied 300 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard

    B. Coherence & cohesion:

    1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate linkers such as but, admittedly, …

    2. This piece of writing is both coherent & cohesive.

    C. Grammar:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including passive voice, adjective clauses, …; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones .

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.

    D. Vocabulary:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance spark, underprivileged, phenomenon, redress, cumbersome, …

    ۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

     

    Examiner’s final comment:

    Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 8 because of the above-mentioned plus points.

  • نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۱۰

    اسفند ۲۰, ۱۳۹۳ نام: حمید ملازاده

    Although some claim that tourism always brings a place more harm than good, others believe its destructive side should not be ignored. Discuss both views and give your idea.

     Tourism undoubtedly is one of the world’s fastest-growing industries. People today are travelling further and further, no longer just in the summer but throughout the year. Although some people argue that mass tourism has a couple of negative effects on tourist destinations, in others view its influences are generally positive.

    The main positive effect of tourism, based on what proponents say, is on local economy and employment. Tourists need places to stay and recreations to enjoy and this creates a wide range of skilled and unskilled jobs for local people. Holidaymakers also spend a great deal of money, which booms the economy of the region as well as benefiting the country as a whole. The infrastructure of an area is also often improved as a result of tourism. For example, when tourists start visiting an area, roads and public transport tend to improve, or an airport may be built, all of which benefit local people as well as tourists. Another point in favor of tourism is that governments are becoming aware of the need to protect touristy areas in order to attract more visitors. This is leading to better conservation of not only historic building and monuments in towns and cities but also of areas of natural beauty and endangered habitats in suburban areas.

    It is often claimed that popular tourist destinations are spoilt as a result of overdevelopment. For instance, many people argue tourism development just leads to a proliferation of ugly hotels and apartment blocks. The other point against tourism is the detrimental effect which it has on local cultures. Take, as an example, the historic villages around my hometown whose residents have changed for the worse regarding their dressing codes and respecting their own cultural beliefs and customs.

    To sum up, I believe that tourism has; on the whole, a positive influence provided its development is properly planned and controlled. In my opinion, it is possible for both tourists and local people to benefit from such development, and for popular tourist destinations to enjoy a sustainable future.

     Analysis

    A. Task response:

    1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.

    3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like examples

    4. This candidate has applied 300 words, which has exceeded the mentioned standard.

    B. Coherence & cohesion:

    1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate linkers such as although, and,..

    2. This piece of writing is both coherent & cohesive.

    C. Grammar:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including passive voice, relative clauses, …; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones .

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.

    D. Vocabulary:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance recreation, habitat, monument, infrastructure, proliferation, sustainable, …

    ۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

     Examiner’s final comment:

     Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7+ because of the above-mentioned plus points. 

  • نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۹

    اسفند ۱۶, ۱۳۹۳ نام: حمید ملازاده

    Some people think that text-message is an important advance in communication, but others disagree and do not consider it as an awesome progress, discuss both ideas and give your opinion.

     Whether texting technology has really improved interpersonal communication or not is a contentious issue. Some people argue that text messaging has become one of the most popular forms of communication, yet others disagree with this.

    Proponents of this invention contend the greatest benefit of texting is that it allows us to communicate instantly with other people wherever they are, but without interrupting them in the way that a phone call would, and allowing them to reply whenever it is convenient for them to do so. In addition, sending a text, for example to arrange where to meet someone, is a quick, concise, and efficient way of communicating, as people normally only include the vital information. Finally compared to other communication methods text messaging is a very cheap form, which is a particular advantage for young people or for those who are travelling, when mobile phone conversations can be prohibitively expensive.

    On the other hand, opponents of the above-mentioned arguments opine there are strong reasons to suggest that text messaging has had a negative effect on how we communicate. One downside is that there is a tendency for people to use texts as an excuse to get out of conversations which might be uncomfortable to have either face to face or on the phone. Another drawback is that people increasingly text while they are in company, suddenly switching off from a conversation and focusing on their phone screens. However, perhaps the most important and worrying drawback of texting is attributed to the effect it is having on written communication. Teachers worldwide complain that the idiosyncratic language of text messages such as abbreviated words and the use of letters and numbers to convey meaning have led to a generation of young people being unable to spell or form correct sentences. An illustration of this is my sister whose spelling mistakes are twice as much as her peers, for she is always texting.

    In conclusion, text messaging has both advantages and disadvantages, but on the whole, I should concede that its merits far outnumber the minus points.

     

    Analysis

    A. Task response:

    1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.

    3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like comparison, example, …

    ۴٫ This candidate has applied 255 words, which is professional.

    B. Coherence & cohesion:

    1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate linkers such as yet, however, on the other hand,…

    ۲٫ This piece of writing is both coherent & cohesive.

    C. Grammar:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including noun clauses, compound sentences; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.

    D. Vocabulary:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance proponent, opponent, idiosyncratic, downside, …

    ۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

     Examiner’s final comment:

    Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7+ because of the above-mentioned plus points. 

  • نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۸

    اسفند ۱۴, ۱۳۹۳ نام: حمید ملازاده

    Recent research shows that the consumption of junk food is a major factor in poor diet and this is detrimental to health. Some people believe that better health education is the answer to this problem, but others disagree. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion.

     A serious concern nowadays is how our eating habits can affect our health. In particular, it has been demonstrated that eating too much junk food can lead to health issues later in life. Some suggest that the best approach to deal with this issue is to improve the level of health education, yet there are those who contend educating people regarding health is not sufficient.

    Those who subscribe to the view that focusing on health education is an appropriate measure believe it addresses one underlying cause of the problem. It is clear there is a connection between what people know about nutrition and their eating habits. For example, children who have learned in school about the need to have a varied diet with plenty of vitamins tend to eat more healthily. Besides, based on statistics issued by the US Health Organization people who have had this education eat much less junk food and as a result do not suffer from diabetes and other diseases.

    Better health education, however, is not a complete answer as it ignores the wider social factors that cause people to eat unhealthily. For instance, many people eat fast food because they have a lifestyle that means they do not have sufficient time to sit down to a proper meal. Again, other people might eat burgers and pizzas because they are seen to be cool and they want to impress their peers.

    I personally claim there seem not to be any simple alternatives to deal with these social factors.  A difficulty is that it is very hard for governments to make a difference to the individual choices people make. It might help; nonetheless, to ban advertisements for unhealthy foods on television and to require companies to provide proper meal facilities for their employees.

    Taking all the above-mentioned facts into consideration, my conclusion is that the government certainly ought to introduce measures to improve the level of health education. Moreover, it would also be necessary to deal with other social factors that cause unhealthy eating.

     Analysis

    A. Task response:

    1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.

    3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like example and statistics

    4. This candidate has applied 370 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard

    B. Coherence & cohesion:

    1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate linkers and transitions such as however, yet, besides,….

    ۲٫ This piece of writing is both coherent & cohesive.

    C. Grammar:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including compound/complex sentences; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.

    D. Vocabulary:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance address, underlying, nutrition, impress, alternative, …

    ۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

     Examiner’s final comment:

    Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7 because of the above-mentioned plus points.

  • نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۷

    اسفند ۱۰, ۱۳۹۳ نام: حمید ملازاده

    These days, internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at universities. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion.

      The fact that the internet is playing a pivotal role in our life nowadays, especially in the field of education, is undeniable. In spite of the fact that some people opine internet-based classes can be a good replacement for actual university classes, others contend that is not a suitable alternative and students should be required to participate in face to face classes. In my idea each of these education systems has its own pros and cons.

    On the one hand, proponents of those courses which are internet-based argue that they can save pupils’ time, for they do not need to commute to their university which may be far from their residing place; besides, finance-wise it can save them some money that can be spent on other probable expenses. For instance, my brother is a student whose university is located 500 kilometers away from his house. If it were not for the internet-based classes, he would not be able to save his money and time.

    On the other hand, opponents of virtual classes highlight the lack of face-to-face communication with professors. They believe that the presence of students in an actual class not only has emotional benefits but also can affect the quality of education. Concerning the latter effect, statistics issued by students association in Princeton University indicates %78 of those who participate in university-based courses enjoy better grades; furthermore, they are much more motivated to continue their education up to post PH.D levels.

    I myself am of the opinion that whether students choose actual or virtual system depends on their future goal. What I mean is that those who have to work and study simultaneously ought to go for the internet-based courses; nevertheless, those who have enough time and care about the quality of their education had better choose the actual approach.

    Having considered all the above-mentioned facts, this conclusion can be drawn that each system has its own merits and drawbacks, yet what I prefer is a class in which there are some wooden seats, a couple of naughty classmates and a kind teacher who would look daggers at me in case I am distracted.

     Analysis

     A. Task response:

    1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic because the candidate has spent enough time on understanding the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated his opinion vividly regarding the topic both in a separate paragraph (the 3rd paragraph) and in conclusion.

    3. Structure-wise, the central paragraphs have been written using a range of techniques, (the 1st one with example, and the 2nd one with statistics).

    4. This candidate has written 370 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard; thus, it will be considered a weak point.

    B. Coherence & cohesion:

    1. This essay is not only coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) but also cohesive due to the fact that the candidate has applied cohesive devices such as besides, not only … but also, furthermore as well as transitions including on the one hand, on the other hand . Needless to say, well-supported paragraphs are bound to be cohesive.

    C. Grammar:

    1. This candidate has used an extensive range of structures including noun clause, adjective clause, compound/complex structures; more importantly, they are correct.

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation which contributes to the score.

    D. Vocabulary:

    1. This candidate has used a large range of appropriate & various words whose collocations are correct, for instance undeniable, pupil, approach, merit, …

    ۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

    Examiner’s final comment:

    Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7.5 because of the above-mentioned points.

  • نمونه مقاله آیلتس شماره ۶

    اسفند ۶, ۱۳۹۳ نام: حمید ملازاده

     Some contend that scientific inventions are making us happier whereas others do not agree and assume detrimental side effects of scientific inventions cannot be ignored. Discuss both views and state your idea.

     Science today has given us such comforts as were unimaginable years ago. Nowadays, we have electricity, telephones, televisions, washing machines, refrigerators and a host of other gadgets. Some people think all these things have made the life of man both easy and comfortable, yet others disagree and stress that minus points of such inventions are more highlighted. 

    Scientific innovation’s advocacy group maintains that science-based excogitation has made diverse aspects of our life including travelling not only easy but also efficient. The world has changed to a small village thanks to the internet. People who live in big cities like New York or London have benefited in many ways. For instance, City dwellers have so many entertainments that they do not have any time to spare.

    On the destructive side, science has invented weapons whose destructive power is dreadful and disastrous. The invention of Rockets, Atom Bombs, Hydrogen Bombs and other harmful nuclear devices have increased the chances of human destruction up to 70% based on statistics issued by NASA. Thus, if these weapons of science were misused, they would spell disaster for entire mankind. This is the peak of scientific civilization.

    I myself am of the opinion that no one can claim whether science is a full blessing or a complete curse. While a scientist makes inventions, a politician misuses them. Mainly, it is this wrong application of scientific inventions by the politician which has brought humanity to a bad state. In this respect science has dehumanized us. Nowadays we have better drugs and surgical instruments, still men are becoming weak and vulnerable constitutionally.

    The main conclusion to be drawn from this discussion is that I personally should concede science can be used for happiness but the mad mind of the man and particularly of the politician misusing the discoveries of science makes us unhappy, I wish those early cave dwellers had never managed to invent the wheel.

     Analysis

     A. Task response:

    1. All parts of the given topic have been covered most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.

    2. The candidate has stated his own opinion clearly regarding the topic not only in a separate paragraph (the 3rd paragraph) but also in conclusion.

    3. The central paragraphs of the essay are well-supported with a range of techniques, (the 1st one with example, the 2nd one with statistics,).

    4. This candidate has applied 290 words.

    B. Coherence & cohesion:

    1. This piece of writing is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive due to the fact that the candidate has applied cohesive devices such as yet, thus, while as well as transitions including on the destructive side . Needless to say, well-supported paragraphs are bound to be cohesive.

    C. Grammar:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including conditional, compound/complex structures; more importantly, they are correct which means the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.

    2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation which is a contributing factor in adding to your score.

    D. Vocabulary:

    1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance unimaginable, highlight, advocacy, concede, excogitation, dehumanize. …

    ۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.

    Examiner’s final comment:

    Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7.5 because of the above-mentioned points.

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