In today’s world, subjects like math and science are the most important for children to learn in school. School curricula should focus on these subjects more and reduce the time spent on music, literature, art and history. Only in this way can we adequately prepare students for life in the modern world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people today regard school subjects like math and science as the most important subjects taught in school, for mastery of these subjects will allow a student to go on to study economics, engineering or many other highly valued university majors, which will lead to better job opportunities in the future, yet others disagree with this and claim subjects such as arts or music are as significant as math and science.
That is not to say that these less practical subjects should be entirely ignored. To their mind, main goal of primary and secondary school is not to prepare students for future work, but to prepare them to be well-rounded adults. Art, history and literature may not have direct applications in the most popular jobs, but an understanding of these subjects will help a child develop a sense of place in his or her culture. In addition, subjects like music do much to develop a child’s way of thinking.
Some people might argue that those who are interested in arts or literature will have time later on to take these subjects up as a hobby once they start working. This may be true, but by denying a child exposure to these subjects when they are young virtually guarantees that he or she will not develop an interest in these subjects and are therefore unlikely to pick them up later on as a hobby. An illustration of this is my cousin who can’t stand literature at all since in his childhood he was encouraged to focus just on math.
In conclusion, I contend while it is reasonable for schools to want to help students in their future careers by focusing on math and science, it is not reasonable for schools to deny students’ access to other subjects. Most people would want to see our cultural heritage passed on to the next generation, and educating students about literature, art, music and history is the best approach to fulfill such a goal.
Analysis
A. Task response:
1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.
2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.
3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like examples
4. This candidate has applied 300 words, which has exceeded the mentioned standard
B. Coherence & cohesion:
1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate cohesive devices such as for, yet, therefore, …
۲٫ This piece of writing is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive.
C. Grammar:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including compound sentences; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones advanced ones.
2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.
D. Vocabulary:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance well-rounded, contend, heritage, literature, applications, exposure, …
۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.
Examiner’s final comment:
Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7+ because of the above-mentioned plus points.
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