As a rule, the longer you continue to study, the better and more lucrative job you are likely to attain in the end. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
There appears to be a general assumption that if an eighteen-year-old chooses the option of continued education, as opposed to leaving school to seek work, they will automatically reap financial and professional rewards in the future, so many students are encouraged by their parents to follow degree courses at university before joining the workforce, yet there are those who do not agree with such an assumption.
Many may argue that gaining practical experience is more valuable to career development than further academic qualifications. A junior position in a large company with an opportunity to benefit from in-house training may lead just as swiftly to professional status. In addition, it is important to recognize the fact that many young people will be more suited to manual or semi-skilled work. For them, further education may prove stressful and wholly redundant. Therefore, the argument for continuing education is not always justified.
In support of the argument, the point of going to university is not only to gain a paper qualification by undergraduates but also to learn practical skills and will meet and share stimulating ideas with other students and with tutors. Both factors will help prepare them for the workplace. In addition, statistics prove that having a university degree leads to a better chance of employment. According to statistics issued by a London-based research center currently in Britain, fifty percent of students who left school at sixteen may be unemployed, whilst only one in ten graduates is without work. This suggests that time at university is well-spent.
In summary, it is clear that both options have their own advantages. Leaving school early may lead to finding an equally challenging and well-remunerated job in the longer term but a university degree almost guarantees one. Consequently, in my opinion, if a student has the academic ability to follow a degree course, they should not hesitate to commit to it.
Analysis
A. Task response:
1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.
2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.
3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like statistics
4. This candidate has applied 350 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard
B. Coherence & cohesion:
1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate linkers such as so, yet, in addition, therefore, consequently, …
۲٫ This piece of writing is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive.
C. Grammar:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including passive, compound, …; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones.
2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.
D. Vocabulary:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance assumption, well-remunerated, …
۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.
Examiner’s final comment:
Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7 because of the above-mentioned plus points.
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