Animals should not be used for the benefit of human beings, unless there is evidence that the animals do not suffer in any way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There are a lot of controversies about using animals for human needs. Animal rights activists are trying to stop all modern and traditional activities, which involve killing animals or cause their suffering. Traditionalists, on the other hand, are trying to convince the community that using living creatures for men’s needs is natural and cannot be avoided in everyday life.
Activists, who defend animal rights, are telling the world that people should not be allowed to use animals in any way. Moreover, they say that animals should have exactly the same rights as humans do. The reason is that people and animals are both living creatures and there shouldn’t be any difference in treating them. So- called extreme vegans are refusing to eat any food of animal origin, even milk or honey. They are trying to persuade people to do the same as an argument that killing animals and keeping them in captivity cause them suffer; besides, it is inhumane.
Traditionalists disagree with the statement that humans should stop killing animals or using them to fulfill their needs. From the very beginning of human civilization there has been a tradition and vital need to use animals as food and their parts in traditional crafts. Without proteins and vitamins of animal origin human body wouldn’t receive all nutrients it needs. Besides, had it not been for testing some medicines on animals, lots of diseases could have not been eradicated.
The main conclusion to be drawn from this discussion is that people have the moral right to use animals to their benefit, to some extent. I personally am of the opinion we should not make them suffer and die for our fun. Although using animals for food is natural for humans, as civilized city dwellers we should make sure to apply only humane methods to treat them.
Analysis
A. Task response:
1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.
2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.
3. The central paragraphs of the essay are not well-supported.
4. This candidate has applied 300 words, which has exceeded the mentioned standard
B. Coherence & cohesion:
1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate linkers such as which, moreover, although, besides, …
۲٫ This piece of writing is both coherent (ideas have been arranged logically) & cohesive.
C. Grammar:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including passive, complex sentences, …; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones .
2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.
D. Vocabulary:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance humane, civilized, convince, …
۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.
Examiner’s final comment:
Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7 because of the above-mentioned plus points.
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