Some say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do to you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?
There is no cast of shadow that with the help of the World Wide Web we can do things that some years ago we could just see them in fiction movies. Although some people support the idea that the Internet has facilitated our communication, others argue its demerits should not be forgotten.
Not surprisingly electronic mail, instant messages, gadgets such as web cameras and microphones as well as cutting-edge technologies including video conferencing have made the presence of the other person more real. Who knows; with the help of visual reality you might even get a 3-D image of the speaker! I believe that the Internet is one the best inventions of the last century, you can hardly get to miss anyone and nobody is really out of reach. For instance, you could not keep in touch with your friends and would not be able to do your work from your bedroom in your pajamas if it weren’t because of the internet.
However, the internet can also be a major source of harassment. Spammers and hackers can invade your privacy and get personal/confidential information, which otherwise they will never get access to. You are never out of anybody’s reach, unless you make a conscious decision of not checking your email, there can be always more work waiting for you in your inbox and you might never have a moment to yourself. Worse yet, if you were a workaholic, you might never experience that stress-free vacation ever again in your life – take my older brother as an example who has his mobile workplace with him at all times.
In conclusion, I myself occasionally look forward to getting a letter in the snail mail, for the Internet gives me all what I dream of in terms of communication – the speed, reliability, and convenience of time and place. I can certainly tolerate its shortcomings any day, as long as it keeps me close to my loved ones.
Analysis
A. Task response:
1. This essay has covered all parts of the given topic most probably because the candidate has spent enough time on comprehending the topic before he/she started to write.
2. The candidate has stated his own opinion definitely regarding the topic.
3. The central paragraphs of the essay have been supported with a range of techniques like examples
4. This candidate has applied 340 words, which has far exceeded the mentioned standard
B. Coherence & cohesion:
1. The candidate has managed to express his/her position clearly and successfully because of applying correct & appropriate linkers like although, not surprisingly, however, unless, ….
۲٫ This piece of writing is both coherent & cohesive.
C. Grammar:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of structures including conditionals, noun clauses, adjective clause,…; more importantly, they are correct which mean the candidate has shown an excellent command of English structures by making mistakes in neither basic ones nor advanced ones .
2. The candidate has paid special attention to punctuation.
D. Vocabulary:
1. This candidate has used a wide range of appropriate & different words whose collocations are correct, for instance demerit, gadget, cutting-edge,…
۲٫ There is no sign of repetitive words or contractions in the essay; also, spelling and capitalization have been taken care of flawlessly.
Examiner’s final comment:
Totally, this essay seems good enough to be worthy of IELTS Band 7.5 because of the above-mentioned plus points.
نظر شما